Progress Report

Last day of February is today, but counting time is an annoying habit. I'd say with how little responsibility I have currently, the master plan is moving forward.

Last time I left this blog, I was moving to volunteer for a conservation corps. My commitment with them ended early in order to train full time, and take responsibility over the animals while my parents visit Katie and Jon in China. That volunteer experience was simply the right ingredients for fun. Physical labour, camping, making new friends, traveling, and disconnecting from electronics.

When returned to my parent's house, I learned about the disqualification of unemployment benefits. That is under the process of appeal. A rookie federal seasonal employee has a steep learning curve.

As far as fitness goes, I've scouted two major hikes in Auburn, joined Crossfit, take classes at Gold's Gym, and about to start a swim circuit with Swim Masters of Rocklin.

I hope by April I'll be use to double workout days (Swim Masters @noon and Crossfit @1830 with long hikes on the weekend).

Since being home, my binge drinking has stopped. Eating more healthy and cooking for the family. After the volunteer gig, I was weighed 190.5 lbs by Kaiser. Looking to slim down to help with the hiking.

I believe that I will be ready by the first weekend of May.

ACE got it.

In the past short week, I've talked to many mentors. ACE's female C-Faller. Gila's senior fire fighter. Birthday partner Mary-Hunter. They have helped me achieve some inner peace about fire fighting.

Last Friday morning I committed to a fire crew.  The decision was unbearable. Going back and forth like that. Wrote out pros and cons, even.

The need for job security sealed the deal. Ship out in May. Training will get even more serious now.

So far I've ran, and hiked. Doesn't feel hard enough. After this spike, I want to move to a furnished house where I can plan out a routine and get discipline with it. Warm weather love.

If I do stick around Santa Cruz, I would get into activities. Its the only way.

May Goals
25 Solid Pushups
5 Solid Pullups
165 LBS
7 Minute Mile

This is dedicated to my only reader.

There is hardly any training going on. Major reconsideration for summer's plans. Life is under construction. Pardon the dust.

Hustle

There is no heart in my training. Perhaps it is an accountability issue. I'm not taking it seriously because no commitment to a crew has been made yet.  Soon it is time to dial in. Hustle begins with a routine.


Lately I've been settling business that needed to get done during last year's fire season. Such as selling my pickup truck. And I sold it tonight. To a Guatemalan. Who is shipping it to a farm in Nicaragua. That fucking pickup truck is WOOFing in central or south america. God bless it's soul.

God save ours.

Where on Earth

Wishing right now for some direction on where to float and relocate to for seasonal work. When I think about the next fire season, I realize that it is creating more anxiety than passion. This season will probably be the last, before getting back into conservation work. I'm acting like I've been in the business for years. Have not.

I don't have enough testosterone to work in a male-dominated environment. Am I the only female in the world who wants to leave a male-dominated environment because it is too exclusive? How the fuck do these chachas really do it? Impressed.

See how my doubts unfold as I continue to apply for next fire season... haha.

Since when did yoga get so hard?

All I love is dumbbell squats. We as humans love to do things that we're good at. This explains why running is dispassion. I have a 40 pound ass (genetics, beer, cheese, dumbbell squats) that I must take on runs. Anyway this muscular build of mine has no core strength, hence the return of yoga.

I remember four years ago, how great warrior yoga was. I was 160-170 pounds, mostly fat, but flexible fat. haha. Anyway, getting back into it is a cold shocking nightmare reality that yoga is difficult when you have lost practice.

Now that i've hit rock bottom, even in yoga, I can start from scratch.

I've generated some goals to hit by mid-May. When I finally leave the nest of delusion, these goals may change to reflect reality.

-Five Pull-Ups with Work Boots
-Seven minute mile
-Bring weight down to a solid 165 pounds (hiking could get easier)

Someone splash water on my face...

sb

USA job postings.

They ARE coming. Federal job posts! Been applying to a few fire and trails positions. The more I rummage online, the less excited I feel. Off-season already feels as if it is slipping away. Don't feel ready to apply because I cannot accept the challenging reality of it-yet.

Just one more season, to put in your arsenal. Jack of all trades, master of none. As life intended.

Anyway, I'm another step closer to selling my pickup truck, committing to a forest, and moving to santa cruz for more distraction. If only I could pick one project to work on at once.

Everything else I could say is too personal for a fucking internet blog, one that is only intended to record how many pull ups I can do (one).

The holidays are over, which means my excuse to drink heavily is too! Damn.